I'm recognizing more and more that discipline is a challenge for me. It's not that I'm off track or out of sync with what I should be doing, I just know that there are things that I want more of that take work, and that work is hard. It's sacrificial. It takes time from other, easier things. It means that sometimes I turn the computer or the television off. It means that there are times when I give up things that are good so that I can spend time moving toward things that are better.
This truth is no more real to me then during this time of year. This time after Thanksgiving and before Christmas is full. It's busy. Concerts, soccer games (gotta love Southern California in November), parties, programs, shopping, decorating, great meals, and my favorite Christmas movies on television are all right there ready to take time and energy to enjoy. And they truly are enjoyable. Who doesn't love a Christmas program with kids dressed up in their Christmas finest, singing songs and playing instruments? These are fun things; they're good things. Missing them seems to never be optional, but I wonder if in the fullness of all these good things, I miss some of the greatest things of this time of year.
What is there for me in the quiet contemplation of what happened at the first Christmas? What is there for me when I fast from some of the great cookies and bars sitting in the kitchen at the office so that I might be reminded to hunger after the things of God? What does God have to say to me when I give up a night "Christmas Vacation" on television for the 3rd time, and spend time journaling on Isaiah 42:1-4 "Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth." This is the hope of Christmas and often times I get so caught up in the 'stuff' of the season that January comes and I march on into whatever's next, having missed a wonderful opportunity to commune with God. I missed it simply because I lack the discipline to stop, look, wonder and listen.
I deeply desire for that change. I hope that we as part of God's Creation can look at the things around us and wonder if things can be different. It's striking that right now there's a movement in this country to battle against corporations and government who control so much of what we know, have and experience. There's a desire to push back against all the money, power, greed and excess that controls our culture, but this movement seems to want things done externally to make change happen. I wonder if that's the best way.
Leo Tolstoy said, "Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself." I like that. In fact, I like that a lot. Real change, real transformation begins internally, not with some political revolution or business remodel. Those things may happen, but frankly, they begin with.... well, they begin with me. They begin with my willingness to allow God's grace to come in and change my heart towards the things that he loves. They continue with the Spirit coming and moving me to compassion for others and for the world that he's given me to live in. They show themselves best when I allow Christ to come in and clean house in my heart so that I might be a part of doing his work of kingdom building in my home, my neighborhood, my city and my world.
And the circle completes itself because this change comes through discipline. It comes through me putting myself into a place where God's grace can do the work that my Savior desires for his people. It comes in the quiet, in the meditation, in the fasting, and the prayer that reflects a hope to truly grow in who I am in Christ.
It will be a good Christmas season, I have no doubt. My prayer is that this Christmas is a better one because I'm willing to sit, listen, pray, hope and wonder in the lap of Christ while the hustle and bustle goes on around me. That's my hope, and if the Lord wills it, he'll do that in me.
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